Common Misunderstandings in D/s Relationships

In fairness to Doms they often get a lot of stick. Before you throw your glittery shoes or kitty ears at me, let me explain.
I’m starting to think that it may be the age difference, the fact that they often have more worldly experience or the pressures of being a protector makes it seem like they’re the only ones responsible if a relationship fails. It would be easy to blame them… and that is why often they are blamed completely. But like any relationship, it swings both ways. Relationships thrive on trust and communication. Without them, you sign your own death warrant.
Being a Dom is often confused with having to be the strong one all of the time. It isn’t true. Daddys and Sirs and even Masters require a little time to breath and be cared for. In short, Daddys need aftercare too.
It’s another reason why I advocate getting to know your potential Dom in a friendly way first, before you jump into any kind of sexual relationship. You have to know what makes each other tick as you would in any vanilla relationship- in order to the learn what makes each other tick sexually.
Some Doms are under the impression that they have to be stern all the time. They are usually not being true to themselves or they’re pretending to be something they are not. If they are being themselves then all aspects of their personality will be shown and that is how connections are made and trust is built.
What can also often happen is that one partner has slightly different expectations and views of where the relationship is. You shouldn’t be afraid to communicate with him. Just because he’s a Dom doesn’t mean he has control over every aspect of the relationship. It is a common misunderstanding of a d/s relationship that the Dom has final say. It’s not true. Certainly while playing he may be demanding, but take it like any other relationship; trust needs to be built before you can move onto the next stage and that is done with communication. This enables the relationship to progress.
A lot of Doms on here want their cake and they want to eat it too. Sometimes you will find Doms owning one sub but DMing others. If the new prospect is deemed a better attraction they will make the move on that sub and drop the original. Unfortunately, twitter provides a perfect platform for this.
To determine whether you are right for each other, you may want to research DDlg (which stands for Daddy Dom little girl). There isn’t much point in calling him Daddy if when you play it doesn’t reflect that. A Dom takes pleasuring his sub very seriously; he will want to know that he is hitting the right buttons, so to speak. So he needs to know what they are. In fairness to him, he may be waiting for you to grow into the type of sub you are before deciding what to call you. He may first be trying to discover if you are a princess, kitten, little or babygirl. All play differently so find out what suits you.


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